A Helpful Guide to Owning Fewer Toys

by Joshua on December 14, 2011

The following post is from Joshua of Becoming Minimalist:

source: dawnzy58

Toys. Sometimes, they feel like they are everywhere. And with the holidays right around the corner, that feeling is likely going to be around awhile. Unless, of course, we do something about it.

Just to be clear, although we have taken a number of steps to reduce the amount of toy clutter in our home, I claim no expert status. Believe me, sometimes we feel like we are winning the battle, but other days we feel like we are losing. But I did want to begin a conversation with parents everywhere because we have definitely found some very practical tips to help minimize the number of toys in our home. And with some of your tips added in the comment section below… maybe, just maybe, this site can become a resource for parents everywhere hoping to own fewer toys and gain back some control over their toy rooms.

To be fair, the exact “ideal number” of toys will vary from family to family (if there even is one). But hopefully, each of these tips will be helpful to those of you who know the ideal number is certainly less than you have today.

1. Be convinced that less is better. As with any organizational project, it almost always begins with a heartfelt belief that less can be better.

It’s counter-cultural thinking to believe that fewer toys may actually benefit your child, but it’s definitely worth intentionally thinking through. To help you along, take a moment to read Why Fewer Toys Will Benefit Your Kids.

2. Choose quality over quantity. You and your children will benefit more from toys that are chosen for their quality (in workmanship) and purpose (playability) than for sheer quantity. Think wisely about your toy purchases. Do some research. If you are going to own fewer toys, you’ll want to specifically take the time to choose the right ones.

3. Set a confined, physical space for toys. Whether it is a container, a shelving unit, or a closet, set a confined physical space for your children’s toys. Once the space is full, there is no room to add more toys. Help your children understand that principle by clearly marking the boundaries. If they want to add (think holidays and birthdays), they’ll need to remove first. It will force them to think intentionally and strategically about toys… and help you keep your sanity.

4. Limit your purchasing with a budget. If you budget for other categories in your life (groceries, clothing, entertainment), you already understand how this principle helps keep your spending and consumption in check. If you don’t, start today by setting a monthly/yearly budget for toys. Enforcing a predetermined budget amount will immediately help in limiting your toy purchases.

5. Don’t give into fads. Just like clock-work, toy companies will generate a new “toy-fad” every few months by artificially generating a cultural buzz. If done well, this artificial buzz will become mainstream in the culture and no longer feel artificial. But it is. And it will always pass. You don’t need to give in just because every other parent is.

6. Keep a healthy, realistic attitude toward toy companies and toy stores. Their advertisements will always tell you that their main goal is to help or educate your child, but often times they are driven most by their bottom line – after all, that’s why they are in business.

7. Avoid duplicate toys. Instead, require your children to learn the invaluable life lessons of sharing, generosity, cooperation, and compromise.

8. Don’t give in to temper-tantrums at the store. Every time you give in to a temper-tantrum at the store just to avoid a scene, you embolden your child to do it again. They quickly learn how to manipulate you. Don’t worry about the scene that is taking place in public. Wise parents in the store will respect you for not giving in – and the foolish ones will learn a valuable lesson.

9. Purge often. Most likely, you need to make a clean-sweep of your childrens’ toys right now. Removing the “low-hanging fruit” (toys that are no longer used) is a great place to start and shouldn’t take too long. Put the clean, unused toys in boxes and donate them to a medical center, nonprofit organization, local church, homeless shelter, orphanage, school, or Goodwill. Simply discard the dirty or broken ones. Then, stay on top of the clutter by purging on a regular basis and going beyond the low-hanging fruit.

10. Watch less television. Consider the fact that marketers are brilliant at shaping the desires of men and women, both young and old. Now, imagine giving them hours each day to shape your children’s minds anyway they desire… and you’ll quickly realize that you don’t stand a chance.

11. Intentionally teach them to value other activities. Although all kids have natural tendencies towards certain endeavors, expand their mind by regularly introducing them to new activities that don’t revolve around toys.

Keeping fewer toys will never be easy. It will always require thought and intentionality. But it will always result in your children learning to value who they are more than what they have. And that always make it worth the effort.

Please, add your own tips to this helpful guide. What advice can you offer to parents hoping to win the battle against toy clutter?

Joshua Becker inspires and encourages others to live with less on his blog, Becoming Minimalist. He has also authored two e-books, Simplify and Inside-Out Simplicity. But more importantly, he loves his wife and two small children.
  • minimalistmommi

    Such great advice for all!

    The only other additions I have are:

    -The 1 in 1 out policy
    -Paying with their own money (and earning money) for what they want
    -Purchase toys that will work with various ages (ex: our trampoline is good from 18M- 18Y)
    -Put non-toys in the toy bins (ex: egg cartons, butter containers, etc.–these are recycled and can frequently be refreshed)
    -Allow kids to play with real-life items, such as tools. Why buy them play tools when they could use real screwdrivers or cooking utensils?!

  • Michelle

    My MIL gilted us into going to the giant toy store (against my wishes… but she came from out of town and I felt I must give in) when my daughter was one.  My daughter tried “the hissy fit for a toy move” and I wheeled that cart straight out of the store and took both a stunned one year old and stunned MIL directly home.  My daughter is now 14 and that was the only fit in a store she EVER threw. :)  

    Love this post.  Thankfully, we are mostly done with the toy stage. :)

  • http://joyceandnorm.wordpress.com Joyce and Norm

    Great post! I always feel bad that I don’t buy a lot of toys (mainly because I hate shopping) for my girls (4.5 and 2.5yo), but I think they get plenty of playtime without having toys at home….they play with toys are my nephew’s house, my parents’ house, at storytime playtime, during playdates, at MOPS, at church, etc. Kids are only interested in most toys for such a short amount of time, I normally don’t feel it is worth the money to buy it for them. I have also gotten lots of nice toys/games from the freebie table at our MOPS group, and when they’re not interested anymore, I put it back for another family to play with. And I love minialistmommi’s additions too. We have a lot of non-toy toys, which are probably better for “learning” than “educational” toys/games.

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      We have a freebie pile like this at our CC group, and it’s fun to pull something out, play with it for a little bit and then put it back for another family to play with!

  • Strawesome Daedra

    I love to give birthday gifts of movie passes. my hope is that the kids will understand that it’s important to do things together rather than get more “stuff”. Although I’m pretty sure this isn’t understood by the child or the parent most times.  Memberships and passes to zoos and museums are great, too!

  • Jd_sorensen

    Great post! It’s also easier for clean up with the little ones. :)

  • http://www.momdropbox.com Audrey

    Great advice.  I would add that as soon as kids are old enough to understand the concept, it’s good for them help in the purging process.  It’s an opportunity to teach them to clear out things they don’t use or need, and to give to others. 

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      Absolutely! This is an important concept in our house too!

  • Melissa

    Ah, toy management.  This post was timely for me as I just spent the morning dealing with all the new toys that my daughter received for her birthday yesterday…while trying to visualize the mountain of new stuff that will come in for both of my kids during the upcoming holidays.

    All of the above suggestions are wonderful and make total sense.  However, what if 99 percent of the toys in your home are coming from people other than mom and dad?  Shopaholic grandparents, goodie bags for every occasion under the sun, relatives who love the dollar store?  How do I control the flow while not coming off as negative and controlling?  Everyone buys and buys and gets their “shopping high” while I’m the one stuck constantly picking everything up and coming up with strategies on how to organize it all…often at the expense of spending quality time with my kiddos.  Is anyone else out there in the same boat?

    • Leah

      I agree that a lot of the problem is toys others buy for us. I don’t buy toys “just because”. Brings to mind the battery powered wooden thomas and friends train I suggested to my in-laws last month. We’ve got the wooden tracks and kids would enjoy building a track and watching the train drive itself. Instead they bought a different type of plastic track that has a different type of battery powered train. Argghh! I was trying to keep it simple! Where do I  put a different type of incompatible track! I also wish my husband noticed or cared about the mess of toys so he’d help find solutions or support me in finding them. 

      • http://3-princesses-and-a-prince.blogspot.com/ Jenn

        Hi Leah – Why not take the “new train system” and exchange it at the store for trains compatible with the system you already have – win-win!  :)

    • EmilyStrongarm

      I think you have a common problem. For goodie bags, I generally toss anything that has no real function, play value, or safety (like those rubbery finger puppet monsters). Sometimes I just have to bide my time until I’m pretty sure enough time has passed that I can sell or donate the item. I use some of the time my kids are away with relatives to clean up and purge too. We’ve been very fortunate to have relatives ask us for ideas for Christmas, but if you guys don’t do that, maybe approach them with “if it would make shopping for christmas/birthday easier, we can provide you with some ideas”? Posing it as a way to help THEM, not you, might give you a positive response.

    • Nice20639

      I absolutely agree with what you said about continually cleaning up and organizing everything at the expense of spending quality time with the family!  I often think to myself that we would have so much more time to do things together, even simple things like play a game or bake cookies if we/I were not spending all of our time cleaning up mess after mess.  I am now thinking that if there was not so much to make a mess with, there would be less mess.  Does that make sense?

  • coffeemom

    I rotate toys around once a week.  I put about half out and 50% in the closet/storage so my 3-year old gets excited when it’s time to play with them.  

  • Leah Hall

    Toy rotation worked well for the very little ones, but once we had our third it became harder to organise the toys for the rotation storage (lack of practical space). I do lots of research and make requests for the kids presents (6, 4, 2, 4 mths) from Grandparents and sometimes  Aunts/Uncles. I choose quality and generally non-toxic toys and so does my mother. However as my in-laws generally only shop at large retail stores it does mean my requests require more careful planning. The problem with buying quality toys is that they do last and don’t need to get thrown out!  
    Another tips is think outdoors! This year I have requested and bought outdoor birthday presents i.e bikes, cricket set, soccer net, wheel barrow. Although the outdoor toy clutter could do with some work too. Some of our duplicates like tea sets and plastic animals get sent outside. 
    My struggle is also that we have lots of toys because they meet the different needs of different ages and sexes. We have more variety than other friends who have all girls or all boys. I have boy 6, girl 4, boy 2, boy 0. 

    • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

      I think you’re right that it would be harder with two different genders! I’ve also found that as their interests are expanding, it’s harder to pare down the toys. For example, our 4yo loves the little animal sets from Wild America, and even though she’s the only one who plays with them, I don’t want to get rid of them, you know?

  • Becky A

    For years we have employed the rule that, for every toy you get for Christmas, you need to get rid of a toy.  We watch almost no TV, and that has proven to be VERY helpful, but we still have to deal w/ the stores and their siren song of what’s “cool”.  Generally, if it’s the latest, hottest toy, you can be assured you will NOT be getting it. :-)

  • http://lifeyourway.net Mandi @ Life…Your Way

    I will add that while we have less toys than the standard American family, one reason we do keep a good selection around is because our kids have mandatory quiet time every afternoon for a couple of hours. They choose a variety of toys/books/crafts for their time and play alone in different rooms of the house during that time, so the toys we do have get some pretty good play!

    When we notice that toys aren’t being chosen for quiet time, that’s a pretty good indicator that they can be given away!

  • Pingback: Play, the Natural Family Way | the other baby blog

Previous post:

Next post: