reader questions

source: sindesign

source: sindesign

I promised Chele a couple of weeks ago that I would share some tips for developing habits of organizing for someone who struggles with disorganization and isn’t sure where to start.

I think an important key here is to remember that it will take time. Do not beat yourself up for not being able to make all of the changes you want right away! To be honest, even though I’ve always liked things organized and been super organized professionally, it took me more than five years as a wife and mother before I developed the habits that really make me feel like I’m on top of my home organization (for the most part). It was a hard road!

Here are four tips for getting started:

Start Small

Choose the area that most drives you nuts and focus on developing a habit in that area. If you’re like me, you may feel like you should jump in with both feet and try to change all of your habits at one time (after all, what good is making one little change if the rest of your life is still disorganized?). However, it is exactly this kind of thinking that will stop you from ever making any changes at all. It’s virtually impossible to make several major changes at once, and you’ll likely end up discouraged and not accomplish anything.

What area of your home or life do you think will have the biggest impact on the way you feel? Which area bothers you the most? Whether it’s your laundry routine, the stack of dishes that you leave in the sink every night only to have to face it in the morning or the clutter hidden in your bedroom closet, choose one small area to start and focus your energy there.

Set Achievable Goals

Once you’ve chosen the area that you want to tackle, lay out an ideal plan for what you’d like it to look like. What habits do you want to form in that area? What would that closet look like if it was organized?

I love written lists, and I often write things down just to clear my mind and process my thoughts, so I strongly recommend that your write down your goal or vision to start. Having it written down provides you with a concrete outline that you can use to motivate yourself and measure your progress.

Take the First Step

Now that you know what habit you would like to develop or what room you’d like to organize, an obvious but often neglected step is to simply get started. It’s often said that a habit takes 21 to 30 repetitions or days to take hold. If you expect perfection from the start, you’re going to fail. It’s important to just get started and keep pushing forward even when you don’t succeed.

For example, if your goal is to have a clean sink each evening, a la Fly Lady, make the decision to clean it up that first night and then do it. Do it again the second day. If you skip it on the third night, do not give up. Simply make the decision the next day that you’ll do it, and then follow through. Keep going until it becomes a habit.

On the other hand, if your goal is to clean up a space — and keep it that way — rather than to develop a daily habit or routine, I would encourage you to just jump in and get started. You may not get it all done in one day, and you may not be completely happy with it when you’re done, but each step is a step in the right direction, and you’ll never get to your goal if you don’t start!

Keep Going

Once you develop the first habit or organize the first area, set your sights on another habit or space and follow the same steps all over again. As you meet your goals, it will get easier and easier to develop the same habits or organization in other areas. It won’t happen overnight, but focus on what you accomplish each step of the way rather than what isn’t perfect.

If you’ve gone from being unorganized to organized, share your best tip for making it happen. What one area could you make changes in today?

{ 36 comments }

source: Skeggy

source: Skeggy

Erica recently asked if I have any tips for how to help other people get control of their clutter. She’s concerned about a family member whose health is starting to be affected by all of the stuff in her house. Although this person agrees that the clutter is a problem, she has excuses for everything Erica tries to help her let go of, and Erica is not sure how to help her get past it and do what needs to be done.

This is such a tough one, especially to see someone’s health declining and know what they need to do even though they can’t seem to bring themselves to make the changes necessary, and I have a few ideas that may help:

Remember It’s Their Choice

Unfortunately, I do think that the first step is to remember that you cannot force anyone to make these changes. Even when caring for older or elderly family members, it’s important to remember that they’re still autonomous adults who have the right to make decisions – even destructive ones. It’s not easy to sit by and watch that happen, but you have to be sure that you’re not allowing yourself to feel guilty over their decisions. The best you can do is encourage, help and support them along the way, but if that doesn’t work, it is not your fault.

Talk Frequently About the Benefits

This process will not likely be quick or easy. Change is hard, and letting go of stuff that we’ve held onto for a long time is even harder. Keeping that in mind, talk frequently about the benefits of letting go. Talk about the people who have been helped by donations from others. Talk about the money that other people have made selling their stuff. Talk about how easy it is to clean and find things after decluttering. And in this case, talk about the health benefits. Even if it doesn’t seem to be helping, continue to talk about the benefits that most appeal to that particular person in a conversational, non-confrontational way.

Look at the Various Options

Consider what may be holding this person back and why they may be resisting letting go.

:: Is it because they connect their stuff to memories of people or events? Perhaps finding a way to record those memories as you go would be helpful. Giving items away to people in need or selling them to collectors is a way to ensure that the items will be treasured by their next owner as much as they deserve.

:: Is it because the thought of going through everything is simply overwhelming? Would they prefer to have someone else do it while they’re not around?

:: Is it fear that they may need or miss something down the road? If so, start with the “out of sight, out of mind” method and simply box up and store the things that are no longer used regularly rather than getting rid of them. This solves the health issue without becoming traumatic for someone who is unable or unwilling to let go.

Go Slowly

Remember that decluttering is a process, not a one-time event. Even small successes should be celebrated, and the process will hopefully gain momentum as the person sees the benefits of decluttering firsthand. It can become almost addicting, and while it may start of slowly, focus on each success rather becoming discouraged by the slow progress.

Has anyone been through a situation like this with a family member that they love and care for? Do you have any advice to help Erica as she struggles to find the best way to help?

{ 29 comments }

Reader Question: Organizing Bath Toys

July 10, 2009

Last week I received an email from Nikki wondering if I had any suggestions for organizing bath toys. I promised her an answer this week, and I wanted to share it here in case anyone else is wondering the same thing. I hope you all will have some suggestions to add as well! Before my [...]

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